Oh, Crap, We Have No Idea What Day of the Omer It Is

Every day is Shabbat, but you can't go to shul.

Today is... um... some day of some month in the year 2020. It’s still 2020, right? G-d damn it. And I guess it’s still 5780, I think. I napped like twelve times in the last I don’t know how many hours, so maybe—no, because I’ve also spent some number of sleepless nights pondering my mortality. So today is the (INSERT ORDINAL NUMBER HERE) day of the Omer, the annual counting of the forty-nine days between Passover and Shavuot. That day is... fuck, Passover was recent, right? I don’t know, man. The days are all blending together in this hellscape. Lag Ba’Omer, the thirty-third day of the Omer, often a day of celebration, is... Hashem-only-knows number of days away. Look, why do you want to know? You gonna get your hair cut or something? WHAT MOTHERFUCKING BARBER DO YOU KNOW IS OPEN RIGHT NOW? Anyway, shavua tov!